2011 Grammys: The Live-Blog

10:27 Well, I'm never live-blogging the Grammys again. At least not sober anyway.
10:25 Win Butler looks so happy!
10:25 More Arcade Fire is always a good thing. Oh, and I really like this song too!
10:24 Lots of small technical glitches tonight.
10:23 This is pretty freaking awesome actually. Almost makes suffering through this worth it!
10:23 So much terrible music nominated. And Arcade Fire wins! Yes!
10:22 What we've all been waiting for? The end!
10:21 Hey Dodge, it's just snow no matter what you're driving. Fuck off for that ad.
10:19 Longest commercial break ever

10:15 That was just aight to me. They have so many better songs. I would have liked to have heard something else.
10:14 Biker cams.
10:13 Now when I think if Arcade Fire I certainly think of BMX bikers.
10:12 And their new album is so very good. I like how they use just white lights to convey "rock" as opposed to the garish multi-colored light extravaganzas they've mostly had all night.
10:12 Yay! Yay!
10:11 Mmmm, Jason Segel. Him I like!
10:05 Did she just say they were so stoned they were walking the wrong direction?
10:04 Why does this boring song keep winning everything?
10:04 I want Cee-Lo to win.
10:03 What the hell was that? Mark Anthony and J-Lo must have a shitty marriage.
10:02 That was awful.
9:59 So is Rihanna's entire career guesting on other people's albums?
9:59 Fire. How dangerous.
9:58 Are we calling him Puff Daddy again?
9:57 "Which rock and roll bad boy is really a sweetheart?" Really, local news? Really?
9:57 I can't believe there's another half hour of this shit. Where's Arcade Fire?!?!
9:52 I approve or Eminem winning.
9:52 Aw shit. Do I want The Roots or Eminem?
9:51 Except for Public Enemy.
9:50 I love Nicki Minaj.
9:50 Obligatory standing ovation because she's a "living legend."
9:49 What is the point of listening to Barbara Streisand gargle her way through this song?
9:47 Her voice sounds a little out of practice.
9:46 My Oscar blog is going to kick ass. This program I found is really freaking cool!
9:46 This guy I dig.
9:40 Why just Mick? Where's the rest of the band?
9:39 What is kind of cool about the Grammys though is that there seems to be actual regular fans in the room.
9:38 I just want to see Arcade Fire play. Or do we think there's any way we could get LCD Soundsystem out here. THAT would be a helluva fuck you to the scalpers.
9:36 Mick Jagger really doesn't have the moves anymore. SO the fact that he's dancing like he does it a little depressing.
9:35 It's like it's Halloween and John Mayer is dressing up as Johnny Depp. It's pretty ridiculous.
9:35 Mick Jagger is dancing and performing a song from The Blues Brothers. Huh.
9:34 Oh yeah, Alex Chilton died this year. Boo.
9:33 Do they always recognize agents, engineers, and entertainment lawyers who dies in this montage?
9:32 God, shut up!
9:31 The Grammys hates pirates!
9:30 The orchestra should play this time suck off the stage.
9:29 I like how it's all jazzy and shit. And I like that the girl who just won plays the upright bass.
9:23 Is Rihanna performing twice or something?
9:22 Is she crazy tall or something? She was doubled over to talk into that microphone.
9:21 Holy shit, an upset! Esperanza Spalding, whoever she is, beat out the pop juggernaut!
9:21 Well it's going to be Justin Bieber. Even if Mumford and Sons is clearly better.
9:20 That was really good, even if Dre was only on for about 20 seconds.
9:19 Holy shit, Dre completely dwarfs Eminem. Awesome.
9:19 And here comes the man!
9:17 Eminem is a hell of a performer.
9:16 And who is this? And where is Dre?
9:15 Is he just swearing up a storm or something?
9:14 Rihanna looks really pretty tonight. Great clothes, hair and makeup. Or maybe I've been watching too much Fashion Police. And I fucking LOVE Eminem. I really do.
9:13 I like her dress quite a bit.
9:13 Sweet, it's Dr. Dre.
9:12 This is still on? But I do have a crush on Seth Rogen.
9:07 While being bored during this show I have discovered free live-blogging software so my Oscars coverage will be even better. And way drunker.
9:05 And I've never heard the Song of the Year before.
9:05 The Song Otherwise Known as Forget You! Bwahahahahahaha!
9:03 John Mayer has a Johnny Depp mustache. Not a good look on him because it only highlights how much uglier he is than Johnny Depp.
9:02 Mr. Nicole Kidman can play some guitar. Plus I heart this song very much.
9:00 Well this is just terrible.
8:59 This circle jerk would have a modicum of spontaneity if that swing broke and she crashed to the stage...
8:57 What a waste of NPH.
8:57 Introducing Katy Perry. Blurg.
8:57 NPH!
8:52 Over xmas I schooled my entire family, including my teenager cousins, at Wii Just Dance. Aw yeah.
8:51 I don't think I can explain how awesome his peacock outfit was.
8:51 How can someone with as hot a body as her make a black leotard look so frumpy?
8:50 Cee-Lo is literally peacocking right now!
8:49 How can she hate his ass right now when he's wearing that awesome outfit and playing a silver mosaic baby grand?
8:49 I wish Gwyneth Paltrow didn't have to come out and ruin this perfect moment. And there she is. Yuck.
8:48 Did it get quiet for a second because he swore or is my cable being wonky?
8:48 This is the highlight of the night for me!
8:47 I am now in love with Cee-Lo after this costume!
8:47 Muppets! And a completely censored song!
8:46 Jaime Foxx has an Oscar and a Grammy? That means he's only two away from EGOTing.
8:46 Obligatory God shout-out.
8:45 It is officially a circle jerk when all of the performers are all of the winners. Blurg.
8:44 So much country. And they pre-gave the award for Best Alternative Album-one of the three I kinda sorta cared about. Actually, probably the one I cared the most about.
8:43 That was so boring. I facebooked during the entirety of it. Miley Cyrus AND the Kings of Leon. Weird.
8:41 Boring. So boring.
8:40 It's nice having a singer AND actress presenting because she can actually speak clearly and articulately.
8:40 Now this is a weird duo.
8:33 And that was the Grammys bug tribute to acoustic music. And you know what? It was the most rocking part of the evening so far. At least until Arcade Fire takes the stage.
8:32 Of all the songs in Dylan's catalog, they picked Maggie's Farm. It has no umph. I would have killed to hear Tangled Up In Blue or even John Brown. (Yeah, that last one is just a pipe dream...)
8:31 Dylan sounds like shit. But I really like the design on The Avett Brothers' banjo.
8:31 They need to turn up Dylan's mic.
8:30 I'm digging seeing everyone play, but I was hoping for them to all play together.
8:29 Yeah, this is pretty nice. Not as rocking as Mumford and Sons but wonderful and lyrical and pretty and melodic. And acoustic so it's pretty much ideal for me.
8:28 I'm just now getting into The Avett Brothers. My The Felice Brothers Pandora station plays them a lot and I've liked everything I've heard.
8:26 So they're Brits who play excellent Americana? I will marry any one of them.
8:26 This is my favorite kind of music!
8:25 I'm not kidding when I saw Mumford and Sons are my current favorite thing ever.
8:24 Come on Letterman. This is just embarassing. Although I always appreciate a John Mayer joke.
8:22 She doesn't just have pointy shoulders, she always has a pointy forehead. Now I want them to try and play off the most successful artist in the world right now. Do it orchestra! I bet she'll eat you all!
8:22 Shock. Lady Gaga won.
8:21 Maybe they were right, the actual awards keep slowing down this whole awards show.
8:21 Ack, it's a New Kid!
8:19 I don't think the American Cancer Society is really the official sponsor of the birthday.
8:15 They tried playing Muse off, but those crafty Brits were too quick. And Mumford and Sons is next! Squee!
8:14 I swear I remember hearing that Muse song everywhere in 2009. Am I just remembering wrong?
8:14 Does Pearl Jam boycott the Grammys as well?
8:12 Justin Bieber has better dance moves than Lady Gaga. When the biggest pop star in the world is being outdanced by a 15 year old boy, that is something funny and worth laughing at.
8:11 Usher's dance moves are like standing yoga poses combined with The Robot.
8:10 Does Usher always make an appearance in silhouette?
8:09 And Jaden Smith is there to make Mr. Bieber look manly and mature.
8:08 I don't get the Samurai theme. And is this really what a Justin Bieber song sounds like? Tween girls have the worst taste. I should know; I saw New Kids on the Block in concert when I was 12!
8:07 Samurai drum corps.
8:07 What is going to happen when he hits puberty and his voice changes?
8:06 Boring. The roots of Bieber fever. And Usher like some sort of angel bestowing fame on pre-pubescent boys.
8:02 I feel so disillusioned now, knowing that the night that is supposed to honor music doesn't even do that.
8:00 That is an unflattering camera angle for her.
7:59 A quick Google search taught me that only 10 of the 108 awards will be given out during the ceremony. What the hell?
7:58 When were all these awards given out?
7:57 Cyndi Lauper and LL Cool J really like her though.
7:56 And why did they shoehorn her into this performance? The other two guys' styles managed to get melded fairly well and fairly authentically. Then they just cut to her doing her own thing. Couldn't she have gotten her segment or been paired with someone more complementary to her?
7:55 That girl looks like she's aping Rihanna's look to get famous faster. It is clearly not really her style.
7:53 I will say that kid has a hell of a singing voice. I think that might be what annoys me the most about the music industry--the squandering of talent.
7:52 Black and white? Really?
7:52 Rihanna Jr. is wearing a cape. I actually respect that.
7:51 Rihanna Jr.!
7:50 I would to slap that over earnest face.
7:49 How do they have one win between them already? Haven't they only given out one award already and it was to Train?
7:49 Seacrest out!
7:48 So your kid will have an eating disorder if you feed it home cooking instead of Kraft. Fuck you in the ear for that one Kraft.
7:47 Who directed Sucker Punch? Isn't it Robert Rodriguez? It looks pretty badass!
7:45 What an irritating Taylor Swift ad. I get that she's supposed to be the ugly ducking, constantly upstaged by prettier, more popular girls. That why she's popular. But when you're a cover girl you need to tweak your persona. You can't play the I'm So Ugly card anymore!
7:43 I like that they have the pic of Prince Charles and Camilla being besieged by protesters up there.
7:42 Aw snap, he's playing a double neck guitar. Just like in the 80s!
7:40 Those visuals look super cool actually. I do like this song but it's so old for this event.
7:40 Aw, he glitters just like the vampires in the movie that made them famous.
7:39 This was Muse's big hit the year before last. Why are they playing it this year? Don't get me wrong, I really like this song.
7:38 Holt crap Lenny Kravitz looks like a douchebag! Who looks at themselves in the mirror and thinks that is acceptable?
7:37 This is the first time I've every heard this song. It's aight. A little treacly for me, but that's modern country for the most part.
7:34 Why does everyone have to get so dressed up to perform? I'm all for kick ass fashion and four inch heels, but save those for when you're not singing and performing. I bet this girl usually wears jeans and a tee shirt when she sings and now she's in fuck me pumps and a skin tight cocktail dress. It just adds a whole other layer of inauthenticity to it all.
7:34 How can something be nominated twice for the same award?
7:33 Who the hell is this doofus?
7:31 They can't even make new ads for the Grammys. That tells you their relevance right there.
7:29 The Velvet Underground in an HP ad? Ug again.
7:27 And this song sounds like straight up Madonna homage.
7:25 I'm actually shocked that she can't dance.
7:24 Holy crap. She can't dance. I mean at all. She's spasming around trying to do it in rhythm and failing. Haha!
7:24 She has pointy shoulders. I mean, I know it's a costume but it's clearly supposed to look like her actual shoulders are pointy.
7:23 I guess I'm curious about Lady Gaga.
7:22 Ricky Martin is wearing silver jeggings. Ug.
7:22 Shut up.
7:21 What awful songs. All of them. I was pulling for Glee just cause. And I hate when middle aged guys have over-styled hair. And is that Tom Colicchio in their band.
7:20 My hatred of Maroon 5 knows no bounds.
7:20 Did they all have to stand on that stage and wait for the commercials to end?
7:19 That testicular cancer ad was pretty lame. Family jewels? Really?
7:14 I'm looking forward to the Muppets and Mumford and Sons. The rest of this show can blow itself.
7:14 Wouldn't it be funny if the orchestra starting playing off her video message?
7:12 It has definitely picked up toward the end, but way too long. Way way too long.
7:10 I have to say, this is easily the nest of the medley though.
7:09 This lady, Yolanda Adams I guess, does to the low end what Ms. Aguilera does to the high end.
7:08 Why is this so boring already? How is that even possible?
7:07 Considering they're singing some great Aretha songs, this medley is very dull and completely lacking in soul.
7:05 Just because you can hit a high note doesn't mean you can sing. Every time that bleached blonde tramp gets a mic in her hands she gargles her way through every goddamn note.
7:05 The girl from Florence and the Machine has a Christina Hendricks look going tonight.
7:03 Does Christina Aguilera even have a stylist or does she just rummage through the sale bin at Forever 21 before every public appearance?
7:03 OK, I like making fun of this kind of shit but Jennifer Hudson really does look fantastic now.
7:02 Wonder if Christina Aguilera will remember the words to whatever it is she's about to sing...
7:02 18 Grammys? If they meant something I might be impressed!
7:01 Mini-Aretha montage. Let the circle jerk commence!
7:00 I also saw that Rihanna is really sick but is going to soldier on anyway and perform. Um, go her?
6:57 Wilco mentioned on their Facebook feed that Mavis Stalpes has already won the Grammy. This atrocity hasn't even begun and I can already see behind the curtain.